So the Dollar Store Sells Flowers Now

Like for real, legit flowers. Now the average guy probably would a just kept it moving towards the dollar condom/chapstick isle, but I think we all know that my brain operates on a slightly different level than most. I used to think that I was a 9 year old boy on the inside, but then I realized that I'm actually a 74 year old former author who moved to the country when his wife died and kids stopped calling. His wife passed away a few years back, and she told him that the only thing she wanted to do before she died was to continue to love her husband and to move into a small cottage and own a garden. Unfortunately she died before she could continue with step two, so the fictional me had to go on and do it for her. As you can see I spend a LOT of time thinking about my life and alternate time lines wondering how it's all gonna come together. I pretty much live in my head, what can I say.

As it turns out, I'm actually pretty comfortable being a straight black male who owns a decorative floral arrangement on his windowsill. I figured I can get away with it considering that I'm an English major, and that I have a vinyl record collection, and most importantly because I have a steez that makes all the ladies go, "DAMMMMMM HOW HE DO THAT?" It's also probably the big goofy prescriptions lenses, or the fact that my birthday falls on Valentine's Day, but I think you get the point. As of now there's no specific lady friend that I call my own at the moment, and because my date of birth just so happens to be on the day of love it makes things kind of awkward. I've never really been down about rolling solo dolo on my birthday, but this year seems different, I guess it must be the whole college thing. I'm considering pulling a Kanye and going to a strip club and turning a whore into an ever famous housewife [no insults intended] but I don't think I quite have the funds for all a that just yet. No worries though, we've still got time, my head will forever be up.

Flower + coffee mug + tea tray = $3.25. Like I said, "DAMMMMMM HOW HE DO THAT?"
  

Wait, didn't Kanye and Amber break up? ALL HOPE IS LOST. You probably won't want to admit this but Yeezy, we are one in the same my friend....one in the same.